Thursday 27 June 2013

Frickin' Fasting…

 I REALLY don't feel like fasting today. 

I don't know what's wrong with me — it could be a lot of guilt from not exercising this week (I'm injured, aren't I?) but I have woken up this morning in a massive grump and not in the mood for it. But I will do it — I am not going to sabotage myself. Yet. I've had a cup of proper tea though… I only drink herbal tea on a fast day usually, but I figured having a proper tea might a) put me in a better mood and b) stop me from going mental on a packet of biscuits. Which, helpfully, I can see out the corner of my eye.

For lunch today I have Glorious Sunny Thai Chicken soup — 204 calories for half the tub. It’s bloody good! It's coconutty and full of flavour, but I like to water it down a touch to make the most of it, as it's quite thick. Water is calorie-free, right? RIGHT???

For dinner, I'm trying out something I found at this blog www.fastdays.wordpress.com. We have quite different writing styles (I have a potty mouth, she does not), but Kirsty has been doing this diet for longer than me and has a few good recipes on her blog. One absolute BEAUT of a find was Waitrose's Prosciutto Cappelletti — half a pack is a mere 166 calories. Now, in the Michael Mosley book, he does say to avoid pasta, bread and potatoes on a fast day, so I won't be eating this all the time. But on a day where one is struggling (much like today!), it certainly comes in handy. I had it on Tuesday with some griddled courgettes, mushrooms and a tiny bit of pesto and it was really delicious. 

Not a great photo, but taking 'awesome pictures' was not my
priority once it was ready! It was Drool City behind that lens…

Chillis are rather nice to eat on this diet because they make you fill up on water (although I think they made my tum go a bit weird on the last occasion). And this meal also made me discover the joy of a griddled mushroom too — who knew?

For me, it's quite important that my evening meal is nice. Soup at lunch is fine, but I would recommend trying to make your fast day dinner as nice as you can. I had a weird kitchen situation on Tuesday where my BF actually helped me come up with a fast day meal! He likes to eat Morrison's Basa Fillets and discovered they are only 228 calories per pack! Which is really good because it means we can eat the same meal on a fast day next week, which is nice because we have been eating separately a lot recently (because of fasting, not because we hate each other's guts). I try to avoid lingering looks at his roast potatoes or chips or Chinese-style pork chops when I can't eat much, but I think I'm getting better at it, which is good ("You can eat chips tomorrow, you can eat chips tomorrow…"). So fish and roast vegetables next week will be a welcome change!

OK, just gotta keep busy and get through this bastard day…




Monday 24 June 2013

Week 3 : Whoops…

Yup — I didn't lose this week. Well, technically I did lose a tiny bit. But I don't think a post-poo 0.2lbs is worth mentioning, do you? (And yet I just did…)

It's fine, seriously. In a way, it was good to test the limits of this diet a bit. This week, I did four exercise sessions and had about 2000 calories every day ( I know, what a lard-bucket), resulting in me staying exactly the same weight as last week. So as maintenance plans go, that's not bad! But seeing as I don't want to maintain this chubby body, I will be running a tight ship this week. And by 'tight' I obviously mean a fairly loose regimen that has me eating Cadbury Trifles and such. 

I am getting to grips with 5:2 otherwise. Soup for lunch, protein and veg for dinner — it's nice not having to obsess over EVERY meal, EVERY day. I tell you one thing though — I am so fucking pleased when I go to bed on a fast day, because tomorrow will be filled with a cheese muffin or some crisps or a biscuit.

However, I did notice one quite disgusting thing about last week! According to my weekly round-up on myfitnesspal (MFP), I ate 19% protein and a whopping 41% of FAT. DOUBLE THE AMOUNT. That is gross. And wrong. And explains a lot. So this week I need to keep an eye on my intake. Especially as I am terrified of dying. (Ha! You were not expecting me to bust that one out, were you?) Like, ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED. It is the one thing that genuinely makes me feel like I might throw up. My brain can't compute death — mine or anyone else's. I know I HAVE to die (as does everyone), but it might be nice to prolong my life by a) not getting diabetes, b) cutting back on salt, c) staying fit. URGH. 

Bearing this in mind, it means that running (or any exercise) can no longer be something I only do when I want to lose weight — it needs to be a way of life. Which is why God bestowed a lovely belated running injury on me at about 11pm on Saturday night. Fuck knows what happened — my run at 4pm was absolutely fine. Then suddenly, 7 hours later, I can barely walk on my left foot. I think my hardcore massaging just made it worse ("Squeeze out the pain! Squeeze out the pain!"), because it was still really stiff all of Sunday, but today it seems better. But I think I should skip Zumba tonight… you know, just in case... (Get nasty, get nasty…) 

Oh, I forgot to mention — last week in Zumba, we did what the instructor called "a song from the East" — it was some sort of Asian tune. I swear she was making waaaaaay more eye contact with me (being the only brown in town), as if to say "Come on, you've been shit at everything else today — you should at least be good at THIS one…" — that is fucking racist, man! What, just cos I'm brown?




Sadly, I nailed that dance. BIG TIME. 


Tuesday 18 June 2013

Fast Diet Weight Loss Record

No, I have not released a song about my adventures in fasting. I just wanted somewhere to document my progress each week. 

I weigh myself on the same day every week, and in the same pyjamas pants usually. I have no idea if my digital scales are accurate or not — let's hope so!


START — 1 June :       11st 12.0lbs

Week 1 — 10 June :   11st 8.5lbs (-3.5)
Week 2 — 17 June :   11st 6.4lbs
(-2.1)
 
Week 3 — 24 June :   11st 6.4lbs (0)  
Week 4 — 1 July :      11st 6.2lbs (-0.2)
Week 5 — 8 July :      11st 5.2lbs (-1.0)  
Week 6 — 15 July :    11st 4.0lbs (-1.2)    **8lbs**  
Week 7 — 22 July :    11st 6.4lbs (+2.4)  
Week 8 — 29 July :    11st 5.6lbs (-0.8)
Week 9 — 5 Aug :      11st 5.4lbs (-0.2)
Week 10 — 12 Aug :  11st 4.8lbs (-0.6)
Week 11 — 19 Aug :  11st 6.0lbs (+1.2)
Week 12 — 26 Aug :  11st 6.6lbs (+0.6)
Week 13 — 2 Sept :   11st 7.6lbs (+1.0)
Week 14 — 9 Sept :   11st 5.8lbs (-1.8)
Week 15 — 16 Sept : 11st 6.4lbs (+0.6)
Week 16 — 23 Sept : 11st 5.0lbs (-1.4)
Week 17 — 30 Sept : 11st 4.6lbs (-0.4)
Week 18 — 7 Oct :    11st 3.8lbs (-0.8)    **8lbs** (again)

TOTAL SO FAR : 8.2lbs

Week 2 : I'm A Loser, Baby...

Sorry people - I know I was supposed to post on Monday! But I decided to do some actual work yesterday... well, sort of.

Anyway, it was good news on weigh day — I lost just over 2lbs. WOO BLIMMIN' HOO. So I'm pleased, but I had better not get too cocky because it's still early days of this diet and things are sure to slow down very soon. In fact, I did a fast yesterday and weighed myself this morning, because it's always nice to see the scales at a ridiculously low figure when you've barely eaten anything the day before — but I was up 0.5lbs…

Now, this really isn't a big deal in the long run, but it did make me thing that I need to be a bit careful this week. I have been eating 2000 calories each day, which is probably a bit much for me. Not because I am struggling to eat it (that is fucking easy as pie! Mmm… pie… *drool*), but because my body is already well-padded and doesn't need to eat that much. I know the whole point of this diet is to not count calories and realise when you are full, but I am not that enlightened yet. And given that I can put away a LOT more food than most people, I think it's a safer idea to keep an eye on things. 

I was reading another woman's blog about this diet and she lost nothing over 4 months because she was literally eating whatever she wanted on her feed days. Now, if you have long-term problems with your weight/are a massive foodie/have an unhealthy relationship with food (or like me, have all three of those motherfucking issues), eating whatever you want is not going to work. Because what you want to eat is almost certainly bad for you, full of fat and salt, and so delicious that you won't stop at one. FAT.  Er, I mean, FACT — sorry.

For example, I got into work at 10.15am today, and so far I've had a cup of tea, a banana, a cheese muffin with spread, a stem ginger crinkle and a WW coconut yoghurt. And it is only 11.31am. And I had to seriously stop myself from consuming any more food. To be fair, I went to Zumba yesterday (ON A FAST DAY!) and then this morning I went for a run, so I was ravenous. Actually, fuck it — who am I kidding? I know full well that I could eat that much on any given morning, exercise or no exercise. And seeing as I managed not to eat until 3.30pm yesterday, it is clearly just about self-control — or the lack of it! Ahem. 

Oh yes, so I attended a Zumba session last night. Actually, it was less Zumba and more me tripping over my apparently GIANT fucking feet for an hour. MY. GOD. Seriously, if you had seen me shake my rhythmless arse at that class, you would have questioned my credentials as a bass player. Firstly, I don't like world music of any kind, so am obviously really pleased that Zumba music tends to be of that genre. I cannot dance to save my life, so having to do merengue and salsa steps was fantastic. The fabric on my new running leggings meant that the long vest I was wearing to cover my crotch and butt kept sliding up to my stomach every 3 seconds, which was great. The overly-perky teacher only had 5 of us in her class, so she made a lot of eye contact with each of us, which I am a big fan of because it definitley doesn't make me feel awkward. And to top it all off, we were dancing in a windowed room within a gym, so people doing ACTUAL PROPER EXERCISE could see me flailing about like an absolute twat — FAB-U-LOUS. On the plus side, no one was shouting at me to “Get nasty! Get nasty!” like last time… *SIGH* 

Yeah — I'm going back next week.



Wednesday 12 June 2013

Fast Day Fail

Somehow, I was fasting on the worst day of my period, ie. the first day. My back and ovaries were fucking killing me, and all I wanted was some pain relief. I didn't want to eat anything until later in the day, so I needed medication that I could take on an empty stomach. I normally wander around with considerable amounts of meds on me (like, I'd-feel-nervous-going-through-airport-security-with-this-much amounts), so I delved into my bag to see what I could take. Co-codamol? No. Ibuprofen? No. Co-dydramol that I am supposed to take for my dodgy hip? No. Turns out the only motherfucking thing I could take was paracetamol, WHICH I DID NOT HAVE. Fucking great. Funnily enough, I managed to get through the day and my ovaries (I have no idea if it's the actual ovaries that ache, or the tubings or what) just stopped hurting by lunch. So I learnt something at least.

Another thing I learnt is that eggs are no good to me on fast days, like seriously NOT USEFUL. I need to stop eating them as they just aren't filling enough. The recipe was two eggs mixed with a bit of light mayo, curry powder and black pepper — I then used this as a filling for a few gem lettuce wraps and ate them with a bit of salad. Tasty, but not satisfying (unless between two big slices of granary bread). Still, I managed to last until 3pm before eating — woo!






Most pathetic picture ever. I tried to arrange the
chilli artistically, but I'm not sure it worked.





By 6pm, I had the headache from hell. I didn't feel like this on my other two fast days, so I am definitely blaming Aunt Blood (thank you, Tina Fey). It felt like my skull was shrinking by the minute. Writing started to look 3D on sheets of paper… I couldn't focus on what people were saying to me… my contact lenses were making my eyes ache… I just wanted some peace and quiet. But still, like a trooper, I fasted. 

THEN SHIT GOT REAL. I got home at about 9.15pm and started cooking dinner for myself and the BF. I was going to have a bit of pork with stir-fried vegetables, and he was going to have the same but with noodles and a Wagamama sauce — easy. What could go wrong, eh? FUCKING EVERYTHING.  

I made his stir fry and it looked delicious, noodles glistening in the sauce. Then I made mine. It, however, looked sad and lonely. So I cheered it up with some Wagamama sauce, which cost me about 58 calories. I then proceeded to inhale my food in front of the TV. It barely touched the sides, so I then got a WW coconut yoghurt from the fridge. The next 8 seconds are hazy… I ate the yoghurt and went to put the pot in the bin, but then I opened the cupboard, had a piece of chocolate, and closed the cupboard. And then I opened the cupboard again and had a small piece of Daim bar. And then I was about to stuff another piece of chocolate into my giant gob, but then I snapped the elastic band on my wrist several times (ha, a bit fuckin' late for that, love!) and CLOSED THE FUCKING CUPBOARD. Total damage = 690 calories. Shame on me.

Now, this is embarrassing for several reasons, but the main one is that my BF will read this and find out all this was happening in secret, mere feet away. But seeing as I wasn't even going to mention the food fiasco on this blog (I know, SHAME!) and I've now actually come clean, I think we should just all calm down and give me a chance. Yes, it was weak-willed. Yes, I am still (cheekily) going to call it a fast day. Yes, I am giving this diet a bad name. But I am now wiser. 

I should not cook on my fast day, for myself or my partner. It's too easy to start allowing a shake of this and a splash of that when it's just there in the cupboard. I need to get my food all ready and measured the night before, so there is no room to dick about on a fast day. It's possible that fasting on the first day of lady time is also not a good idea either. And it looks like soups and salads are going to be the most sensible option — that's what I ate on my most successful fast day (yeah, of my whopping 2.5 days) and I was absolutely fine. 

I banished myself to bed that night at about 10.15pm. I think I might love sleeping even more than eating, so this was the only thing that was going to make me feel better (yup, after all that chocolate I apparently needed to treat myself even more). It was depressingly early, but I convinced myself I would get up in a bit and practise my bass for a little while. Not so. Next thing I know, it's 12.23am and my boyfriend is asking if he should turn the light off. However, I had an excellent night's sleep and even did a run that morning, (which I wasn't planning to do), so at least there was some kind of happy ending.  
What is important though, is the fact that I feel good at the moment. I like the feeling of a flat(ish) stomach on fast days. I like looking in the mirror and knowing I am making some changes for the better. I like my new running pouch and leggings. I never thought I would say this, but I like the fact that I enjoy my runs in the morning. I like the structure I am getting from my Couch-to-5k app. I like the fact my calves aren't burning after running (probably because I run sooooooo fucking slowly that they don't even have my speed as an option on myfitnesspal — whoops). I like the fact that I will fit back into some of my clothes soon.

So I am allowing myself to have a 690-calorie splurge on ONE fast day.  

It's not the end of the world.*



* It might be the end of the world if I haven't lost any weight next Monday. Eheheh.  














Monday 10 June 2013

Week 1 : BOOM! Lost 3.5lbs

Thankfully, it appears 5:2 is working. I am fucking chuffed, obviously, but like I said, the first week of a diet always has pretty good results because you end up pissing a lot. So let's not get too excited, as the tough part is sticking to it beyond week 2...

So, what did I eat? I have to say, knowing you can eat what you want is incredibly weird. I still don't entirely trust it, so I have been keeping track of my daily food allowance on myfitnesspal. I know, I know — it kinda defeats the purpose a little, but there are several good reasons for this. The first is that when it comes to food, I am programmed to think in Weight Watchers points. For EVERYTHING. Daim bar = 4 points. Wagon Wheelie = 2 points. French Fries from a multipack = 2. Bubblegum split ice lolly = 1 point. Wow… I am desperately trying to think of a food that is not loaded with sugar or salt and I'm getting nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except broccoli = 0 points… So now that I'm not on WW, I need to familiarise myself with nutritional values of food products, because otherwise it's very easy to stuff yourself. Which I have done a bit this week. 

Myfitnesspal has given me 1320 calories a day to use up. This seems like a lot. There are a lot of foods that I used to avoid on WW, because they were just too many points from my daily allowance. Which meant you ate a lot of salad because you had to, when really you wanted to punch that salad right in its stupid face. But now I get to look at actual values of food, rather than the values WW has assigned to them, which is proving interesting. Although the diet just advises to stay within a woman's 2000 daily calories, I know my body enough to realise that I need to stay in the lower end of that. 

However, I've still managed to eat a lot of nice things things this week. I've had a meat pizza, cheese twists, paella, chocolate biscuits, an apple doughnut, mum's yummy pasta, KFC and Twiglets. And a hot dog (I'm fucking pushing it, aren't I?) Not bad going. But there are a few things I have learnt along the way. 


Lesson 1 : You don't need to go mental.   

KFC day was bad and indulgent and I really didn't feel good after eating it. Not because it wasn't tasty (it was gooooood!), but because I ate too much of it, mainly because of my mantra, "if you are going to fuck up your diet, fuck it up good and proper". This is wrong and stupid and not how you are supposed to approach this way of eating. Also, after seeing how many calories were in what I had eaten, I realised that it was just needless gorging. Bad, bad, bad.


Lesson 2 : If you're not hungry, don't eat.

I suddenly had an obsession with eating Twiglets one afternoon. So I went to a shop that sold Twiglets, bought a big bag of Twiglets, and then pretty much ate all the Twiglets. I was still very full of Twiglets by dinner, but I still ate dinner THAT I DID NOT NEED, EVEN AFTER ALL THOSE TWIGLETS. One thing this diet teaches you is that it will take quite a long time for people in the western world to even start wasting away. For most of us, missing a meal wont leave us feeling weak, or lead to us having a drop in blood sugar level, or even make us feel tired. If you are not hungry, don't just eat for the sake of it.


Lesson 3 : Don't get obsessed with Twiglets.



Lesson 4 : Do not treat yourself to a 5-pack of doughnuts after your exercise class has been cancelled. 

Yup — I'm afraid this happened. I went all kitted out in my gym gear to a class, only to find out it wasn't on. So then I went to Morrisons where I spotted a reduced pack of apple doughnuts for 35p. I was fucked off the class wasn't on, and that I was now wearing white slouch socks in public when I hadn't even been working out, leaving me feeling like a massive impostering twat. And before I knew it, I was in my kitchen with with a bagful of shopping, topped with sugary doughnuts. The good news is that I only ate one devious doughnut. My boyfriend ate two (drunk), but alas, the others have gone in the bin. I really hate waste, but I couldn't justify spending 400 calories on two doughnuts just so they wouldn't get chucked. So, for one night only, I managed to hang up my hat as a human dustbin. Baby steps, baby steps…


But what about my fast days? Well, they were really, well… doable, actually. 

Day 1 Fast : First thing I ate was at 1.30pm, and it was a one-egg omelette with salad. I have to admit, this was not a great meal idea on my part. 

Omelette of oppression.
I seriously don't know how I managed to waste 200 calories on this watery meal, but it's no wonder I was fucking ravenous when I got home. Which led to me devouring a LOT of cashew nuts, taking me to 650 calories instead of 500 — ARGH! Dinner was a Chinese-style soup. My aunt excitedly asked me for the recipe for this — you should have seen her face when I told her it was just a turkey stir fry that I added water to. God, that sounds grim. Again, it was filling but not very interesting. I'm *so* glad I made enough to have it again on my next fast day…

Day 2 Fast : Right. Did NOT want another cashew nut situation. So I made a really nice tuna salad with a whole can of tuna, salad leaves, tomatoes, cucumber capers and a bit of balsamic dressing. I ate it at about 2.30pm and it was really, really tasty. RESULT. Same flipping soup for dinner (along with some diet Fanta and 8 grapes) but spent a respectable 510 calories, with fewer headaches too.

For next week, I would like to have better fast day meals, eat less crap and just get on with it really. I think the 'treating food differently' bit has yet to kick in, but I'm hoping it will get there. It might have even started already — when we went out for the hot dogs, I opted for the 2 potato latkes as a side instead of the very large portions of chips, which i totally LOVE. That's an improvement, right? 

Let's just say yes. 




The Fast Diet
Start weight : 11st 12lbs

Week 1 : 11st 8.5lbs