Holy CRAP. (And THAT teacher)

I did not realise it has been a month since I last posted... Sorry guys. 

So I should probably update you on what's been happening! Firstly, there HAS been running. That is something at least. I really am not improving as much as I should be, but my potential shin splints are not what we are here to talk about today.

Then there was dinner with my blogging school friend… Let's call her Blog Mate — she will love that I reckon. Or not. This should have just been a fun dinner, but unfortunately, it led to some weird stuff… OK, just realised I have made it sound like we lezzed out, so I will just get to the point. RIGHT. So, we had an English teacher at school who we probably all had a bit of a crush on because he was young and we were in a school for girls. He taught us in Year 10, but then left teaching altogether. Blog Mate said to him: 'I hope you know you're walking out on your career"… which is pretty funny, right? Yeah — until we found out he now owns several EXTREMELY popular restaurants in London…

For some reason, this has bugged the fuck out of me. I knew something was up when I saw him in the the British Airways magazine on a flight to Scotland, but I thought it was just a flash in the pan. I am not normally a jealous person, but this has made me go slightly mental with envy. I don't know why — I don't even want to be a fucking chef! I guess I am very jealous of his drive — he used to teach all week, and then work his butt off in restaurants on the weekend. I can't even bring myself to do one of my creative pursuits for just one hour after work. Blog mate and I calculated he was about 30 when he started doing the restaurant thing, so it means I really need to start doing my thing… oh… One year ago.

(OK, so it looks like this post is blatantly going to be about my obsession with my teacher. Sorry.)

Blog Mate and I figured that as we were meeting up, we should try out one of our teacher’s restaurants. I deliberately found some bad reviews of the Venetian one we went to so that I too could whinge about the chewy chicken and crap meatballs. Alas, it didn't quite work out that way... The place was buzzing, no, it was HEAVING. We sat down and took in the delicious menu, the gorgeous decor, the tasty smell of the food... CUNT CUNT CUNT. We ordered one dish off each section and a bit of wine, and then I asked the waiter if by any chance our teacher was there. The waiter smiled and said he wasn't, and we explained that he used to be our teacher, probably just to knock him down a peg or two. (Seeing as I was doing all the talking here, it was almost certainly for that reason.) I wonder if he believed us, since our teacher pretty much looks the same as he did 15 years ago, in the many, MANY Internet searches/extensive stalking I have conducted.

When the food came, it was all just brilliant. (I hate him. I hate him.) We had bread, an array of tasty starters, meatballs, pizza — everything was utterly delicious. Which just made me more mad and more hateful. It was a lovely evening, until some really quite inappropriate R&B came on the sound system very loudly... that was the one weird thing. So we both admitted he had done very well for himself, paid our bill and headed home. And I am so bitchy that I am not even going to give his amazing restaurant a shout-out. He doesn't fucking need it. 

(Wow, this happened over a month ago and I am still filled with so much resentment. Great.) 

But it did not stop there. I got a totally obsessed. The whole thing had riled me up for some reason, although I think it's fairly obvious it's to do with my own failings. Alongside the hate was the fact that we had eaten this totally dreamy cod paste thing there that I went crazy for, so I spent the next day violently trying to find a recipe for it. My search brought up the fact he had a recipe book out for this restaurant… I spent a lot of time looking at it. And I mean A LOT. Am I thinking about buying this book? Really? Am I actually going to put more money in his po... CLICK. Oh right, it appears I am. I have now made several things from the book, cursing my way through it at all times, for they were all delightful and it is a lovely cookbook. Well written, nice recipes, good paper, beautiful photos of Venice... I read all of it in bed across two nights. (I hate him. I hate him.) But now, every time someone reads about him in the paper, or sees him mentioned in an article, they tell me. Every time. He is everywhere. FUCKING everywhere. HAUNTING MY UNMOTIVATED SOUL.

So yeah — my boyfriend and I are planning to go to Venice for our anniversary… AND WHAT?

FINE! FINE! I will cook your stupid delicious food, you git…

Week 11 - "I am in shape. Round is a shape"

Yo.

So, I stupidly told two former work guys about my blog. I should have shut my cakehole (mmm, cake), but they pestered me about it and so I sent them the link, on condition that they never bring up how much I weigh. Have heard zilch back. So that either means they are disgusted and have now cut off all contact, or their lives don't revolve around me and they haven't actually read it. I fucking hope it's the latter. 

This week, I have been obsessed with Captain America/Chris Evans — either will do.  Ideally, a picture would have gone nicely here, but I'm not entirely clear about copyright and I don't want to get sued. Also, I'm not sure how I feel about Chris Evans having played TWO Marvel superheroes, but I'm sure we can all agree that Fantastic Four was a massive pile of shite and we can all pretend it never happened… But back to Captain America — if only we could all take part in a scientific experiment that changed our bodies for the better… Although to be fair, I already have the same size arms as Captain America, and I don't even have to work out — SHAAAAAAAAAAAAME! In your face, Cap! 

In other news: I have decided my blog looks like an accident in a Dulux factory. It's my first proper blog and I went a bit mental with the colour, and I very much regret it now, so it will need to be redone. Right after this packet of biscuits. 

Speaking of blogs, an old school friend has taken to writing a fat blog as well — an idea she admitted she stole off me! I'm just THAT inspiring, guys. Anyway, there are no hard feelings at all (because me and her are the only people blogging about about weight loss, right?) and seeing as she always makes me laugh, I'll give her blog a shout out here too: http://weightythinking.wordpress.com/ (Also, she did the same with my blog, so now I'm fucking morally obliged, aren't I?) It's fine… It's fine… Just because her blog looks better, doesn't necessarily mean it is better…

From next week, I will be following the Billy Idol Diet. I am positive that when I was watching his videos once (or 12 times) a day, I didn't eat badly — watching his skinny little body jump around in leather and chains gave me all the incentive I needed — that could be me someday! Oh, I have just realised that snacks are back in my diet... WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN? Right, this week people, I. AM. ON. IT. 

Oh, shit — Bank Holiday weekend, innit? Hmm, we'll see… Let's not make any ridiculous promises.

WEDNESDAY

I was incredibly good on this day. I stayed within my daily points and it felt nice and in control. Also ate a massive banana today. Seriously, it was huge — there are porn stars who would have been embarrassed at the size of this thing. Wish I had taken a picture, dammit.

THURSDAY

Seeing as I normally have band practice on Thursdays, I tend to have a big lunch, as by the time I get home in the evening, it's too late to eat. I had a very nice NuMe Chicken Tikka ready meal, plus a bit of flapjack from my Graze Box. Bass keeps me busy!

FRIDAY

It was a colleague's last day today (boo-hoo!) and she decided to have her leaving do at The Diner in Camden, so I consulted my Eating Out guide. COCK - burgers range from 12 to 59. Fucking great. To be on the safe side, I decide to get a hot dog and fries, as the points seem to work out less — 30pp? Ended up eating a mate's cheesy chips, added those to the list as well — 35pp? I decided not to drink until the evening, but I was having such a good time catching up with people that I only had two alcoholic drinks all night — GET IN! Got home after midnight and was a bit peckish so had a quarter of a Daim bar and a pack of Sunbites, which (might I add), were not fucking worth it for 3pp — could have had two bits of toast for that! Never mind. A pretty successful day. CHUFFED.

SATURDAY

I went out for the day with my boyfriend and it ended up being a bit of a late start, so we only sat down to eat our first meal at 5pm. This was stupid, as we were going to my olds for dinner at 7.30pm… But we thought we'd just have something small. So we were in Cafe Rouge, we had one hour, and I didn't have my Eating Out guide with me. COCK. OK, time to make some sensible choices! I already ruled out salad because it was freezing, so we both decided to have one of their Plats Rapides, as I figured they would be small and quick — I tried to work out points in my head and settle for the chicken baguette that came with a few fries. Er, there were A LOT of fucking fries. I shouldn't have eaten them, but I couldn't help myself when they were there staring at me. URGH. So we turn up at my parents, stuffed with food, but it worked out fine as we didn't eat until about 8.45pm, where I had a small portion of curry that my mum had made. Got home and looked up Cafe Rouge…

My daily allowance: 26pp

Cafe Rouge baguette (with chips?): 34pp

BUGGERY CUNTS.

SUNDAY

So, after yesterday's shambolic food selection, I am trying to be good. Made some swede mash, which is my new favourite low-carb/point-free veg (just add extra light cream cheese, parsley, salt, pepper and chilli — will take a picture next time, whoops) and had it with leeks and a bit of chorizo on the side. Saved 5pp today. I am positive it will make fuck-all difference come Weigh Day.

MONDAY

So Monday started off good really. Until I ate the nuts from my Graze Box, which were more points than I would have liked. But things really went tits up at lunch. I decided I couldn't be bothered to go out and get my lunch (because of the cold) so I rifled through my work drawer to see what I might have lurking at the back. Oh, a packet of Fox's Nice Creams. Before I knew it, I had eaten 5. How many points? 10. ARGH! I would have been better off getting lunch! I seem to be on some kind of self-sabotage mission, because this is all very pathetic, and stupid and idiotic. Have spaghetti for dinner, which took me way over points, woo-blinkin'-hoo. 

TUESDAY

As always, I ate light today, and wore the thinnest and lightest dress I own before hitting the scales. Think light thoughts, think light thoughts…

WEEK 11 : 2lbs lost (11st 5lbs)
SAY WHAAAAT?!?