Me: Cock, I shouldn't have eaten those peanuts… but I was hungry.
BF: Er, where did those peanuts come from?
Me: I bought them today when I was in Tesco.
BF: I thought you only went to Tesco to buy a can of sweetcorn?
Me: Well, yes, but then I saw these were on deal in the snack aisle…
BF: But why were you in the snack aisle?
Me: (Getting irritated) Well, I was wandering round all the aisles...
BF: But why wer… Ohhhhhhhhh. This is what you do, isn't it?
Me: What?
BF: Well, I hate food shopping, so when I go to a supermarket, I just want to get my item, and get out as quickly as possible. You actually like food shopping, so you wander around the WHOLE shop.
Me: Yeah… but I still shouldn't have bought those peanuts.
BF: No, you shouldn't have.
Me: Hmmm.
I don't know if this makes my BF sound like a hard-arse, but he really isn't… Well, sometimes, but not on this occasion! I was starting to get irritated with his questions, but I genuinely hadn't realised how differently we view going food shopping. From my perspective, it was a bit "DUDE! Why the fuck wouldn't I be wandering around the whole shop?? What if I see something amazing I want to try? What if something is cheap?". But it's his idea of absolute hell. That is why I am a foodie and he is not. He is very much a 'work to live, eat to live' kinda guy. And whilst he does very much enjoy eating a piece of delicious fridge cake or a really tasty burger, he doesn't live for it the way I do. And so comes the second issue with my rampant snack addiction — I end up roping him into it too.
For a number of weeks, I got into the bad habit of having a little snack whilst cooking dinner. I am always (psychologically) starving when I get in, and I am straight in the cupboard, grabbing the nearest bag of sharer crisps. I know I'm not supposed to eat them, but how can I alleviate this awful guilt? I know — "Hey, do you want some crisps…?". To be fair, the answer is quite often "No thanks, I'm alright", but I know that once he comes into the kitchen and sees me munching on them, he will grab one, just for a taste. Then he will grab the bag out of my hand, and then eat quite a lot of them. Guilt alleviated.
Now, anyone who knows my BF will know that he is of slim frame. Hell, until last year or so he was wearing clothes that were sized 'XS', whereas now he is just 'S'. But BF also has the fastest metabolism ever. I mean, it's not good to eat loads of crap, but if anyone's body can take it, his can. But I don't want my bad eating habits rubbing off on him. It's not fair, especially as he wouldn't even buy bad stuff in the first place. So, to address this, I've tried to have a weekday snack ban. I can't cut them out, but I can save them as a treat to look forward to, as can he, because I really I don't want to be his feeder.
Strangely, I do seem to be sticking to my new rule. I managed to not go mental in Sainsbury's on a fast day (not quite sure how, but I did!) which just required a lot of breathing and a 'think of the bigger picture' mantra. But one day this week I was really tired. Inexplicably tired. I still have absolutely no idea what was wrong with me, but I don't remember ever feeling that tired after a day's work. My eyeballs were hurting, I had a headache, and I really struggled to stay awake at work or on the bus. However, on my way home, I found myself slowly-but-surely being drawn towards the bright green lights of one of my favourite supermarkets — Waitrose.
Now, I don't actually have a MASSIVE love for it, but you don't see a Waitrose that often, do you? So when you see one, it's a bit exciting because you know that whilst everything will be overpriced, it will all be delicious. So in I went, lurching around like a zombie until I hit the snack aisle. I have to say, I was rather impressed with my willpower at this point, because somehow I managed to leave not with a bagful of fancy cheese crackers or makhni poppadoms, but with some low fat breadsticks, a jar of chilli pickled onions and a really bizarre chorizo jam. I KNOW.
Some of you might say "Well, if you had true will power, you wouldn't have gone inside in the first place". To you people, I say "Fuck off". This is my journey. For me, that was pretty fucking restrained. Low fat breadsticks are not fun, so I knew I wouldn't eat a lot of them. Also, pickled onions would provide that salty, spicy hit I am always looking for when I get in, but with a trillionth less of the calories. The chorizo jam, well, that just seemed like a fun and interesting item to try. And it was, as you can see from the packaging!
 |
| It took me ages to get the 'Eat 17' reference… Nob. |
I would recommend it. They also do a bacon version that I could be tempted with, although £3 a pop for quite a small jar is a bit much. Maybe it would make a good gift.
So, with all this being good and snack-cutting-down and weight-lifting and exercise-biking, one would think I would have lost some weight. Or one would think I would have at least stayed the same. But no motherfuckers — I WENT UP TWO CUNTING POUNDS. Now, if I hadn't read this article on Nerd Fitness (excellent site by the way) I think I would have been quite upset. Also, I know when I've had a shit week, and this really wasn't one, so I definitely don't believe I have just piled on 2lbs of pure fat. Heck, I didn't diet AT ALL during Christmas and I only put on 3lbs! So this is bollocks. However, I also don't think I've put on 2lbs of muscle either (though that would be fucking sweet!). So it's probably a combination of water weight and muscle. But mainly water, probably. I hope. However, seeing as I have about 25lbs to lose, I will be keeping an eye on my weight just to make sure it doesn't keep going up — that would be bad! Maybe it's finally time to pay attention to the body fat read-out on the scales…
In other news, I'm really enjoying being aware of my muscles and the feel of a post-workout ache. I can feel my muscles getting bigger and stronger with each session, so whether the scales go up or down, I know for a fact that changes are taking place. Now I just need the fat to fuck off from my body so I can reveal the Xena-Warrior-Princess physique that I am clearly hiding under all this chub.
No comments:
Post a Comment