Getting There… Really Fucking Slowly

Yo peeps. Told you I was going to get back back on the blogging train, so here I am! It has taken a bit of effort to be honest, but you know what they say — it's not worth having if it's easy… yadah yadah. 

OK, so for a second week I have lost weight, which is good news. It wasn't an awful lot, to be fair (0.6lbs), but it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, as my dad always says. I also did 30mins of exercise every day except Saturday, so I'm pleased about that. It definitely helps that when I lean forward for my fast intervals on the exercise bike, my thighs nudge my stomach, which is sure to get any girl spinning hard! I've managed to get up to 12.5k in distance, so I will just keep trying to improve that. Although one thing that is worrying me slightly is the increasing size of my quad muscles. They are starting to bulge, people — I can see the corners of them sticking out through my leggings! I know I am not going to turn into Chris Hoy overnight, but I do have concerns, as I can build muscle pretty easily. Hmm, I really should do something with that…

Speaking of getting tonk, I have also found a new weights routine that I want to start — this was the website if you are interested: http://www.niashanks.com/. I was going to start it next week (new for February), but I literally have just decided (whilst typing this up) that I am going to start it tomorrow. The sooner the better, surely? Plus, I might need a week to tinker with it as it involves barbells and all sorts, which should make for some amusing stories if nothing else. I must remember to not load them up too heavy, as when I first tried using a barbell I damaged my back by lifting a little too much. Yup lady-bros — I am quite strong! Even the BF is surprised at my strength when I'm trying to stop him doing non-sexual wrestling moves on me. Although I have had to tap out on several occasions, followed by some teariness.

BF and I went to our local Wetherspoons this weekend and ended up eating there, and it was quite a pleasant surprise to see that their menu has the calorific value of every single dish beside it. I was quite impressed, and it did actually steer me away from their hot dog section (DAMMIT!). It also meant I couldn't lie to BF about my choice being healthy when it blatantly isn't, not that I EVER do that, of course. 

I love highlighting.

We also had a rather strange discussion about my weight chart on the Bakerloo line, which is so fucking noisy that half of bloody London must know how much I weigh. Now, anyone who knows me will know I always make a new weight chart every time I start a new diet. It's an obsession. In fact, if I put as much time and effort into actually losing weight rather than faffing with a variety of weight-loss printouts, I would be a size 8 by now. True story. The issue I have with my scales is that they give me my weight in stones, then pounds, and then some decimalisation, which I find weird. Surely it should then be in ounces? I think the main problem is that at WW, the scales would only ever round to a half pound, which keeps things nice and simple when you write them in your little book. But now my home scales go 11st 10lbs 0.7 = what the fuck is that??? It's not a full pound, it's not half a pound, so how do I chart it? Only shade in half a square? Although BF did point out that ounces would be even more complicated, so I guess I just wish my scales would round up/down to something meaningful. I just feel that if I round up, it's cheating, and if I round down it's disheartening. And I can't change it to kilos, becuase when it comes to my fatness, I think in stones (thank you WW). BF did say I had no business charting a loss of 0.2lbs (FUCK YOU BUDDY!), but I like to because it just feels like things are moving in the right direction at least. So above is my new double chart (one for actual weight loss, one for a nice round number guide). It's mainly necessary because I don't seem to be able to do basic maths. Needless to say, I have never completed a chart, ever… BUT THIS COULD BE THE ONE! It could be. 

In other news, you know you get those selfies where people take a picture of themselves but don't notice something weird in the background? Well, that TOTALLY happened to me last week. I wanted to show my sister what a difference wearing under-eye concealer makes, so as I was doing my make-up in the morning (which I always do without any clothes on — sorry for the imagery everyone) I took a picture of myself shoulders up. I looked at it and thought "Phew, no-one can see my nakedness anywhere — that would have been bad!". Great. Went to my mum's that evening and got the picture out and something made me just check it one more time before I showed my sister… AND THANK FUCK I DID. I don't know how I missed it the first time, but I looked at the picture and you could CLEARLY see the reflection of my fat, naked back in the mirror behind me, PLUS some boob. It was not flattering. There were fat rolls. There was my broad back. It looked like a walrus with big hair was sitting upright on my bed. If my mum had seen that — and those of you that have met my mother know what I am talking about — she would have never, ever, EVER let me live it down. So, I just put my phone away and did a demonstration on my sister's own dark circles, which was probably more effective anyway. 

I went a bit over my average daily calories last week, so this week I'm going to really try to keep the average down, and hopefully see a better loss this week. Unless my new weights routine has me looking all pumped-yet-fat, in which case, we will have a problem…